I was always a very active person....
Not one to stay in place very long...
And always into sports and working out...
Until...
MS (multiple sclerosis)
Then I had to slow down... I was way too tired...
Because traditional medicine could not do anything for me, I turned to alternative ways... This is when I started looking into nutrition, yoga, meditation, Reiki and Ayurveda...
Now you know already about my diet and yoga practice... What you do not know is that I can't let go of that.... for health reasons...
You may also know that I consider myself healed.... not cured as their is no cure for MS...
But healed in the sense that I can carry a normal life... like most of you... I can work, have a social life, cook, clean, play... do whatever I want... so I thought...
A month ago I decided to train for a marathon... I registered to a gym and started working out... up until now it was going well and I was making progress... I am still very far from a marathon ... but I had not work out that way since 2007... it is a big challenge...
I had stopped working out when I found out that it was not really good for me... If I go back to Ayurveda, I'll explain why... In Ayurveda, there are 3 dominant doshas... or energy type... Vata, Pitta and Kapha. They each have their own characteristics. I a not going to go into detail here for each dosha as I am not expert in Ayurveda... but what I found out is that I am predominantly Vata... Vata is characterised by dryness, low body fat, tendency to get exited, wandering mind... It's element is air (think of a windy day - that is what is happening in my head). MS, according to Ayurveda is an imbalance in Vata. Vata being my predominant dosha it is easy to get it imbalanced... When Vata is under control, MS symptoms go away... when imbalanced, they come back... Lifestyle and diet are the 2 major things to control my Vata. I know I eat right for my type... grounding food... to bring me down a little... and keep me on the ground! Physical activities suggested for Vata are yoga, walking, bicycling and swimming...
Did you see that running is not part of the list??? Weight lifting neither? That is because it is recommended for the complete opposite dosha... for Kapha!
I knew that.... but because I considered myself healed I assumed I could do that now! It's something I always wanted to do... and now I won't be able to... I have to let go of that too... I am healed and not cure... therefore, a Vata imbalance will always bring back MS symptoms!
Did you realize I said let go... not give up... because I tried... I really did... but it is not working out for me... I can feel it in my legs... and it's not like normal working out pain... it last for days... and it's deep down... it's tingly... and also like an electric shock... and it keeps me from sleeping... I can't fall asleep and it sometimes wakes me up... This is not good... as a lack of sleep also aggravate Vata...
See where this is going??? Lying down is awful.... and even now sitting I can feel it... I don't want that... so I will have to stop working out so much... I'll have to stop running... and without running there is no marathon...
This is difficult for me because I like to think that, despite MS, I can do whatever I want... but it is not the case... This disease will be in me forever... as long as I live... and there are always things I won't be able to do...
This is perhaps the most difficult post I ever had to write... the more personal one... I am digging deep and opening up to you my lovely readers... maybe it won't help you... but it helps me... to feel supported in that difficult time I have to go thru...
I know I will find another challenge... another dream...
In the mean time I'll increase my yoga/meditation practice to heal once again...
love&peace,
nath
xox
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